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...and everything is -; a l r i g h t.

This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight



February 17th, 2006

(no subject)


so yesterday had to be the worst day of my life..

* woke up late & got to school late..
* got my phone taken away for the whole day..
* got a ticket because i parked on the wrong side & never moved it..
* got introuble even though i shouldnt of, had to do an essay..
* threw my phone across the street & it shattered (but i got a new one)
* richie died, jackie & i spent the night crying... 
* got into a fight with mike, as usual...

but besides all that-

* me & alicia went to the mall, saw jguns. it was chill.. got burbon chicken :] yum.
* went to elmwood park too see alex & got ice cream at four seasons...
* went too harrison too see rob & sebastian, then went to starbucks...
* saw vicky, mike & brian.. anthony was working so i got a free java chip..

RIP- 2/16/06<3 we'll miss you, always.

February 9th, 2006

dear LJ,

i havent updated this in forever but ive been going through alot and i feel the need too vent out..

ONE- school, im failing comp for college and the only reason is because my lazyness. i hate writing so i decided never to do my homework.. my parents are flippin about that. also algebra 2 can suck it because even though im not failing its so hard to learn with ms. regetz cause shes rediculous. i love her to death as a teacher but i cannot understand her, actually it might be that i just hate math too.

TWO- college, ive havent gotten any acceptance letters yet so i dont know if i should be worried or relieved.. all i know is that im hoping i get into these 3 schools- montclair, university of central florida, and university of delaware.. then from there i can DIE trying to fiqure out which school i want to go to, i really want to get out of this place, college is about starting all over & i want to do that so bad. no one knows you there.. so i want UCF because its far and its such a new atmosphere also because i only know ONE person thats going there && its my good friend jimmy, i think well have a kick ass time if we both get accepted. i love the campus too, its amazing everyones just open & fun, i really love it. but then again i dont want to leave home, i mean its HOME.. 80% of me wants to leave but that 20% is wanting home so bad and i no i should get out and try new things cause thats what EVERYONE is telling me but its my friends, my life, my everything. thats why i want MSU && it also has a awesome physical education program, and duh thats my major.. anyway, then we have UDEL- im going to see the school in a week with Casey, Steph & Nicole (from devils) were doing some cheering clinic it should be fun.. but i get to visit there and look around and everyone, they have an awesome cheer team i want to get on, but also its like NOT FLORIDA & NOT JERSEY! its in between kinda, like im out but not too far from home. im so confused i dont no what to do.. + meg goes there and shes fam. even though we get on each others nerves its still love, its still family. i dont think i could ever stay mad at that girl. but yeah.. im so lost on the whole choosing bit. but i guess im just gonna have to wait it out.

THREE- so ive been with rich for about a monthish, and we fight but like usually we get over it in a night, that kid is so awesome and would do anything for him and i know he would too, everyone tells me. but i guess i need a break ugh actually idk, cause i met mike and in the little time we met he treated me better than ANY other guy ive been with.. for example- i hate calling guys cause i feel like im bothering them and with him its different HE CALLS ME all the time & he tells me its okay too call.. hes so cute its awesome & we started liking eachother alot lately, but problem is he just broke up with his girlfriend of a year, and he stil has feelings for her, when he told me we couldnt like hookup anymore & such i cried i didnt want to but my emotions took over, i guess because he was so different from any other person, and we still talk on the phone & im the one bein distant, cause i dont want to still be attached and have him go back to her, i tell him im sorry all the time for ruinin this, cause if i never got inbetween and got him to like me this wouldnt of happen, no idea what i should do, it hurts so much. i dont want to give up at all, cause hes awesome. && i stopped talkin to rich because of mike & now if mike gets back with his gf il be alone cause i dont think rich wants to be anything with me.. but jordon says he still likes me. rich doesnt no about mike and i like too keep it that way.. ah i hate boys.

FOUR- cheering, going awesome i love it. our record is weve got 4 1st places, best choreography and most spirit, we lost grand champs by 1 point! ah. but we also had a shakey beginning 3 & 2nd place. but its all good now.. for the next comp. i have to do this tumbling pass that i think sucks cause i cant get the last thing.. but im gonna have to suck it up. which il do, but its rough..

so anyway thats whats been going on, today im going to "talk" with mike hopefully cause we couldnt last night. && then zuz & i are driving up too htown too meet up with rosey & rox, then were all going to the panic! at the disco show & the academy is show, im pumped. thats all for now, il be back.. promise


October 15th, 2005

(no subject)

You Know Your From Wallington When:

you drank at the tracks or the woods(water tower)

you no we held the record for most bars in a square mile

your vice principal has had 3 affairs with other coworkers

when youve hookedup with all your best friends

youve never had a cock-roach-less day

you talk back to teachers and they dont care

you where sandals in the winter and to school even tho your not supposed to

youve thought about having sex with a teacher

you partially understand polish

you called upon ricky jp or joe seb for alcohol

you know atleast 5 people from east ruthorford

you dont really hang out in wallington

you swere you wont hookup with another wallington guy/girl

until the next weekend

you have a mysapce

youve witnessed ppl coming drunk to school

youve witnessed a bottle of vodka breaking in the hallway

youve smelt like smoke from ustop

you think JOE PACHECO is awesome and you love him

you teach the teachers

when you juss call teachers by last names not with the MR. & MRS

have had Huer as a gym teacher

hung out at tommys dinner at 1 am drunk off your ass

been to DnD's twice in one day

walked around town at night cause there was nothing else to do

youve gotten with underclassmen

you know the c/o 06 &O7' has the highest drinking rate in the school

you DONT go to school dances

the flag is at half mass and nobody knows why

you know all the polish people hang out at the county park

the desks are to small

your business is everyone elses

you know who the mitten man is RIP

you have had pav as the weather man

youve been to kriso's office for a physical

adam brody was/is your classmate

half your sr class is above 19 years old

youve calld the jason town apartments .. the J projects

youve been absent 47 times and still pass

you know waht up the hill and down the hill means

you know every cop in town

when you miss john colon little brian pat.p and carl fufuzziii

youve walked newere in town

if you loved pavs classes

you rememebr when vinny was gay for a week

when december was the time to see oragne girls with white hair and blackroots

youve spent the nite at Little Leaugue

youve won a fb game and drank your ass off

you lost a fb game you drank your ass off

when you shook the eight ball on pavs desk

who know who dave popek is

youve herd numorus rumors about yourself

you attened pete o's parties

you thought kevin barnes was gay

you no 85f BCC

you know at least 5 ppl who chill at wendys every nite

you know what Kurwa is

and you say it


you have more true guy friends then girls

youve partied with a teacehr

you know atleast one graduate who had sex wit a teacehr

youve been called babe by Treslo

ate at jumbos

you hate the 7tha nd 8th graders NOT the freshman

you can go for any varsity sport and make the team with out doubts

this is my life.. mmk thanks<3
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September 27th, 2005

i havent updated this thing in like 8 thousand years.. so il be content & short...

ive recently been chillen alot with the following...
aubree, sandra, brian, katie, vicky, vic, nick, all those fun ppl.. zuzia, lenny, marc, ang, torie, kp, alex, rob, sebastian, anderson, joey, kristina, tara, erica, sam & such. we have good times. i love them!

we suck at football by the way. we already lost 2 games, whatever im bummed but could careless sometimes.. the cheerleaders got alot better im glad =]

devils is looking awesome. were gettin our music soon & i cant wait. =] yay were good come watch out for us in december..

i have conjuctiveitus & sinuitus (also called pink eye & a sinus infection)! cool right? and im still in school.. lovely. my lovah garret has pink eye too. were cool mhmm.

work is the same. i get alota visits.. so make more & come visit me =]

uhmmmmm yeah. thats all so far.


August 5th, 2005


soo.. im leaving for NJ tonite at 8.. im soo happy you dont even no.. ive had alota fun this summer thoo..
noelle, aubree, heather, lauren, nikki, zach, seany, josh, chad, matt, brian, anthony, derek, petey, ricky, danny, stephen, rory, chris, johnny, bryan, austin, mike, tyler, matt, adam, devin, chris, zack
made my summer the best. but i miss my loves from home.. i made bffl with chelsea and it feels fuckin awesome, im so happy we got through our problems.. and kristy. no more drama anymore. expecially since both fights were for boys. psh fuck boys! lol but my good friend steve is plannin a party for when i get back and im so happy i have awesome friends that wana do that for me. & vic is plannin one too.. i think i seriousli have my whole week planned up. bc everyone wants too chill, sat- jackies sweet 16. sunday- chels, beej, rozbo are chillen & at nite.. my party =], monday- matty & johnny =].. then so much more all weekend. i get to see my BEST FRIEND seriousli like shes the one zuzanna<3 && were havin sleepovers and all.. then warped tour on the 14th with her and i cant wait.. hmm so last nite.. i got into like 3 fights and found out shit that made me so sad.. honestli.
one- derek this boy that ive been hookin up with down in florida.. had a gf the whole time that was in college. and he lied to me sayin she broke up with him and shit.. but i found out from his cousins gf also my friend noelle that he never broke up with her and stopped callin me bc she came down. that was so fucked up that he would lie to me just to get with me.. i cant believe guys go so low.. but someone should tell his gf what he did.. grr i really hate him.
two- this other kid matt that wanted to hook up with me but i didnt.. also had a gf. and he never told me.. so even if i would got with him he had a gf too.. wtf is wrong with guys? honestli.
three- my best friend from florida.. danny ditched me 5 times since i was here and it pisses me off that he does that too be with the guys. bc he can see them every fuckin other day.. but whatever so last nite we fought bc he was supposed to come pick me up. but he didnt.. then his ex girl IMed me and told me that they broke up tonite and that she kept tellin him to come get me since its my last day and shit.. but he never did and like when he got on i knew he was gonna b so upset bc he just got dumped but i was so madd he ditched me again i just started flippin out.. he apolizged like 238443 times but whatever. hes commin over today with rory. and were chillen..
four- johnny my best friend has a new girl it kinda sucks bc we always had this "thing" for eachother and i no i should be happy for him.. but i guess im bein selfish and jealous. i just want someone for me.. and it bothers me so much that all my friends have someone even the kid that i could like be with.. and i think its gonna be different now when i chill with him since i cant flirt and like jump on his back and shit.. and were goin to warped tour together and i dont wana have a bad time.. so i think im just gonna chill and find new ppl too meet. but stil be around him.. idk im so confused. i suck.. but anyway im leavin bc danny & rory are commin soon.. so il update latur. mhmm k thx


August 1st, 2005


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aubree & me.. aubree, me, stephen, & austin lol, holy drunk, stephen my best friend<3 & me! just one of the many florida summer nites gettin trashed. ;]]

July 31st, 2005

so yeah MAJOR updatin is needed.. uhmm. im gonna make it short thoo. hi im a senior FINALLI<3<3<3 soooo happy! && also im in florida. aubree came with me but she left a week early.. but ive been with my girl heather ALL SUMMER haha<3 she never leaves my house this girl LOVES ME SOOO MUCH! haha. but yes we have some "intrestin" summer nites ;]] shouts too cool kids that are soo coool- zach sean josh colby ben cotta austin tyler derek mike russ anthony chad matt bryan lauren nikki dc danny chris nate brian rory johnjohn amy stephen grant josh matt adam chris devin hunter aj shane keith pat charlie.....proli more but i could careless.. anyway, me & zuzanna r goin to warped tour WOO with my boys matty & johnny<3<3 &&& vic my bffl is leavin me for tour =/. & jackies bday is sooon well today but her party is sat. && KRISTY is awesome. we r friends again and all<3 woo.. uhmm.. yeah i love these kids^ && danny is an awesome kid i love him too sometimes. lol. yeahhhhh so im too lazy to write more. il update when im all alone and heather leaves me cough tear.. yeah so its rainin now and we LOVE storms<3 and i wana go to wet & wild soooooon.. and yeah. im out

k thx. BYE!

June 19th, 2005

and the trigger pulls..

too tired for details..

ive neglected livejournal for a while.. so im back things that gone on.

im single. kenny is gone,[broken heart] which is okay i guess. i still miss him..
i got my hair cut short & highlights blonde..
i hung out with mike from heights its been a while, it was nice also met new friends..
i saw bill & other from rutherford that ive missed that was dandy.. mike brockway is awesome<3
i got real drunk last nite & some kid tim (ninas ex i think) drove me home.. thank god i wasnt like raped haha..
my grandpa died. i dont like to talk much about it.. and i wont be the same.. rip 6.10.05 ;[
im a fucking senior bitches!!<3333333333333
i have a job at red robbins..its too fuckin cool. i have fun. come visit me!!
mike is my best friend and i love him to death. we talk details alot.. closter here i come to live<3
i just realized i no WAYY to many mikes hahaa..
ive made up with friends that ive gotten into fights with.. which is good<3
i stopped talkin to dicks that ive tried to keep trustin over & over..
i miss matt & johnny<3 & i met thur friend jonny g, hes chill..
i did somethings i regret. but fuck it.. its alredi done with...
ryan is my new really chill friend... hes cool as shit..
i need a new boyfriend.. for like real!

okay im over this. night bitches.

June 2nd, 2005

um so.. this weekend was fun.. i spent friday- with aubree, dave & darren.. then we went to dave's party which was fun. after me & bre went to a park with luke, luke & seb. saturday- i went to danielle's house to find my two lovahs (jess too) in the pool.. they got out got ready & we went to the wycoff show. & jackie came too.. what a fun night. too much drama to get into.. but screw it bc i had mad fun.. let me tell you my boyfriends friends are pricks! okay done. but i did see matty, jd, johnny, sickell, LYS!, & yes. MIKE was thurr- hes my besttttt friend i love him.. im also LIVING at his house this summer idc what anyone says!!.. i also saw my dan<33 ah ive missed him.. him, richie & i- OWNED the emma stickers that night. && as richie was playing me & dan sung to the good songs of madison to eachother. cause were just too cute like that!.. hmm so after the show went wendys. yumm.. then we all slept by danielles- girl bonding with my favorites ;] i loved it! that sunday i went home to see my family from pennsy then went back to dani's to swim with the girls.. many pics it was dandy.. i gota get them from dani.. anyway later that night we got dressed up to go to ryan millers but never went. bOo so sandra came with us to rutherford & i saw bill,chris,&ryan<3<3<3<3 those boys i havent seen in FOREVER! i missed them.. & some other ppl were thurr.. me & san got free coupon things to go get our haircut in west caldwel.. thanks chris! lol.. Monday- i didnt really do much.. i actuali forgot wha i did.. hmm nothing important. so yeah..

...and i really don't care if i ever wake up again.
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